Hey, Whats Up, Hello…

Hello.

Those of you who are already aware of me have probably seen my vagina. Those of you who haven’t, feel free to Google it. No, I’m kidding but only because I don’t make any money from that kind of thing anymore. Already I imagine I’ve lost 95% of any audience who clicked through via my social media pages and have instantly clicked off the page as soon as they were met with words and not pictures of my tits. Soz guys.

Yes, it’s true – I used to be a porn “star”. I really hate using that term because, in the grand scheme of things, I didn’t make all that many movies and I’m definitely no Jenna Jameson but it just makes things a lot clearer to use that term. In “real life” when asked I’d always reply that I was an “adult performer” or “adult actress” but I found that people sometimes just confused that as meaning that I am an adult who has been in films. Someone once told me I look like Stacey Slater from Eastenders but that’s about as close as I’ve ever come to “serious” acting.

blogging

I started taking my clothes off in front of cameras for money in around 2009 when I was 19. I had moved to London with £30 in my pocket and no idea how I’d pay my rent which, in itself sounds like the opening scenes of a porn film. I’m such a cliché. Anyway, I never enjoyed any of it, at all, ever and now have finally decided to cut it all off for good. Am fully aware of how the internet works and that my bare arse is all over it and will be for quite some time before it gets buried under a thousand pages of newer content. To be honest I wish I’d fully considered what I was getting myself into when I started because there are some bloody awful pictures of me out there with horrific eyebrows but unfortunately hindsight – and a thicker eyebrow pencil – are a wonderful thing.

I never found sex work empowering. Some girls do but they probably enjoy what they do. I never did and not only did I find it demoralising, I didn’t find it at all challenging or stimulating, sexually or otherwise. Actually, that’s a bit of a lie, there’s always some challenge involved in not screaming “oh fuck off, you absolute creep” down the phone whilst a grown man tells you how he likes to piss his trousers and go to work with wet pants. Or when a man tells you he wants to pretend he’s a flower and that you’re pulling his petals off. I miss working with people who are wearing clothes. I will at this point throw in the disclaimer that anything I say about the adult industry or sex work in this blog is purely my own opinion.

yoga stretch

I am not speaking for any other girl in the industry and everyone I’ve met through it have been nothing but lovely, good, kind people. Whatever I say here is my opinion alone. Just because I hated it doesn’t mean anyone else does and it was my own fault I let myself get as enmeshed in it all as I was, no one elses. I dragged my heels for years because I was lazy and got used to the money and didn’t know what else to do but I used 1st January this year to finally, finally cut it all off for good. I don’t want to be patronised by literal wankers on the internet anymore. Never again will I have to watch a man in a thong wanking or watch a guy eating his own cum off a spoon. Never again will I have to listen to endless amounts of men telling me I look like their wife or their wife’s best friend or their co-worker or their cousin (oh, I’ve heard worse). Who knew there were so many redheads with excellent tits knocking about…

People are often asking me the same questions – “how did you get into it?”, “whats the weirdest thing you’ve ever been asked”, “omg so do you like hate alllll men now?” so I’ve finally decided to pull my finger out (not a euphemism) and start a blog and eventually get round to answering those sort of things and giving you an insight into the joys of the adult industry. It’s probably incredibly vain of me to assume anyone gives a shit what I do or have to say but I think writing a blog might prove to be quite cathartic. I’m hoping so anyway because since I don’t get my fandingo out online anymore I can’t afford to go back to therapy. I’ve quit. I’ve put my knickers back on and am finally going out into the “real” world to get a proper grown up job. I feel like a lifer or something, trying to integrate myself back into society with a new name, trying to keep the past a secret. Wish me luck!

P.S. I will be accompanying all my blog posts with the kind of inane questions I receive over on my Tumblr mainly so you get an insight into the delightful inbox of an “adult star” and also because they make me laugh and, as that old saying goes, if you don’t laugh…

96 Comments

  1. What a great read. I think a lot of men forget that is a person they watch in porn not some lifeless unemotional robot. I for one look forward to learning more about the real you

  2. Well Said Jaye. I wish you lots of luck and happiness in all your future endeavors.

  3. I’ll be loving reading this as our opinions on so much are the same and your sense of humour has me in stitches.
    Good on you girl!
    Shay. X

  4. That was a good read. Look forward to more updates!

  5. Brilliant introduction to your blog! Great that you’ve found a place to offer an insight into your musings. As someone who’s followed your modeling and experienced a lot of enjoyment from viewing your content, it’s rather bittersweet to realize that it wasn’t something that brought you any joy or contentment. It’s a shame that life left you without many other options, and I hope you’re able to move on without much trouble. But I know you have much more to offer than just your good looks, so very keen to subscribe and keep up to date with your life’s adventures! 🙂

    – Peter

    • JayeRose

      February 5, 2016 at 12:43 pm

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it – thank you for all your kind words and hopefully haven’t offended anyone by saying I didn’t enjoy any of it. I still got to meet some interesting and well intentioned people so it wasn’t all bad! x

  6. Hi Jaye,

    I’m one of the 5%!

    I just wanted to say, I found this fascinating to read. Definitely keep the blog up, you write really well. Good Luck in your pursuit of a “real world” job. You will do well. You seem like an intelligent, grounded girl with a lot to offer, which makes me admire you that much more. Looking forward to hearing more in the future! x

  7. Great first post Jaye. That was a really great read and I look forward to more. Good luck in the job search, be well.

  8. You’ve done your own shawshank by the sounds of it. Porn/adult industry has never been clear cut, even for those watching, granted I’d like to think that the majority aren’t as weird as the fella who was into their cousin.

    Most people would never dare do porn, but we’ll watch it regardless. We need an outlet for our desire – some itch to scratch. It adds some reassurance when we notice that someone attractive (like yourself) is doing what we are into. However, it is hollow. There really is no feeling in it. It is a job after all and we get that, but others clearly don’t – for whatever reason.

    It’s all a little strange.

    • JayeRose

      February 5, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      hahah, love that – “shawshank”! It really does feel like that sometimes. Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment 🙂

  9. This is amazing. I’ll wait with baited breath for the next instalment as I chuckle with the thoughts of penultimately a BBC/Channel 4 docu-drama.

    You are modern inspiration!!!

  10. I think this a great blog
    Many people forget the person behind the acts.. Your clearly a beautiful woman and not gonna lie i have been a massive fan of what youve done and will probably always be. Because i appreciated the beauty of you. But its nice to see someone tell the truth of how they really feel. Proper empowered by reading this. Good luck in your future endevours x

  11. Fascinating read, sorry I was one of the weird perverts who loved ringing you, getting you naked and wanking over a phone or camming with you! Lol glad we had a laugh as well, will be avidly read your future blogs. Lots of Love Burns semi retired phone whore xx

    • JayeRose

      February 6, 2016 at 1:04 pm

      Hi Burns – when I say I never enjoyed it, it wasn’t because of the people it was just that I got into it all for all the wrong reasons! Hope you’re well and thank you for reading 🙂 x

  12. Looking forward to reading more as a retired perv

  13. I have a friend who was also an adult performer but now she’s a criminologist, so I’m happy for you even.

  14. I usually read your posts and laugh because of all the humor you throw in most of the time. I gotta say this time it made me feel sad. I mean it’s one thing to be an objet (sic) of lust or desire, but quite another to witness or be asked to do some of the most degrading and filthy things. Maybe you’ll have to get off the internet for good and get on with your real life, real person, anonymous profile to finally get a clean break.
    I now understand much better why you’d want to change lifestyle, for lack of a better word.

  15. Thanks for writing this. It sounds like it’s going to be a very interesting blog, especially for anyone respectful enough to have not wanted to bother you with questions like these before. That, and it’s never not interesting to read about someone’s motivations and retrospecs.

    Hope you manage to get as much out of it as your readers do x

  16. Hey, great post. Awesome to read your perspective, much respect for posting it for all, that’s not an easy thing to do. From a former, and current fan, I wish you the best of luck with your future, you deserve it. Let us know how it goes. Respek.

  17. Sorry I’m late to the housewarming party, didn’t realize you’d made this, mostly since I don’t use twitter!
    It’s great to see you start a new blog, What kind of content should we expect here outside of the “Hall of Rude Creepos” and insights into how online pornography worked from your perspective? I remember you mentioning wanting to do some kind of podcast or similar back in Fall 2015 or so.

    I’m gonna have to figure out how to follow this blog, it was always fun to talk about things whenever you did make the occasional long post on the tumblr, speaking of, I’m assuming it’s going to be getting the shaft soon, outside of using it to fill the “Hall of Rude Creepos”?
    I’m excited to see where this new site goes. Great to see you again!

    • JayeRose

      February 15, 2016 at 11:49 am

      I will eventually (!) get around to a podcast – its the next thing on my list! At moment is going to be a mix of how I got into it all, my experiences on the industry and any topical events that I feel fall under the broad umbrella of “sex”. Pretty much an online diary of sorts! Thank you so much for reading 🙂 x

  18. I’ve been waiting for this blog for what seems like years and now its here! Awesome! I look forward to reading everything you have to say.

  19. Consider me on of the 5% too. You’re a very funny and honest writer.

  20. Very interesting read. The best of luck to you!

    P. S. You’re hilariously sassy replies to the pervy tumblr DM’s have always been a source laughter to me. Keep it up!

  21. Hey Jaye
    Came across some ‘adult pic’ of yours and instantly got attracted to you. Well you have looks to die for. Reading your blog describing your journey as an ‘adult actress’ and they way you have moved out of it, has made me a much bigger fan of yours. Wish you luck in all your future endeavor.
    Love xxx
    Koustubh

  22. Wishing you all the best for the new career. Looking forward to reading your blog, you are very articulate whatever you’re writing about. Hopefully also there will be less idiots bothering you here.

  23. Wow, great Blog, whatever the reasons on why did porn it doesnt matter now, just one more turned page in your life book … however you looked great on those few castings …. I really congratulate you my friend for this great great step you are taking … The best of lucky and wishes on coming future …more than sure you,ll get a proper grow up job….expecting to see more blogs commenting about your new lifestyle.. My respects

  24. This is without a doubt the sexiest thing you have ever done, proved you are an intelligent, witty and honest person.
    Best wishes to you and may you succeed in whatever you future holds.

  25. Hi Jaye,

    Just wanted to say what an insight thought, provoking and impassioned blog, but most of all a really good read.

    Good luck with it and I hope you find the job and happiness you deserve. Look forward to reading more.

    X

  26. I was just reading your tumblr feed and noticed you asked for help adding a subscribe feature to your WordPress.org blog?

    try these links:

    https://wordpress.org/plugins/mailchimp-for-wp/

    https://wordpress.org/plugins/mailchimp-subscribe-sm/

    Sean Xx

    • JayeRose

      February 11, 2016 at 10:59 pm

      Thank you but MailChimp requires a physical address and I don’t want to put information like that online – thank you tho! 🙂 x

  27. Wow, fair play to you for cutting it all out. Sounds like you have been through a fair deal to say the least.
    Your experiences with the industry and dealing with people that surround it seem to have made you a stronger person and I really hope that you’ll be able to find a profession that you really do enjoy! You deserve it.
    I have subscribed and I am looking forward to your future content on this blog. 🙂

  28. Big fan of your former profession. Since you’ve moved on from that, I want to move with you. Looking forward to future posts

  29. Congratulations on standing up for yourself and getting out. It’s amazing that we know now the brain isn’t finished forming until we’re around 25 years old, but so many people choose their path before then and never have the courage or wisdom to reevaluate.

    I hope you come to cherish this time in your life as you will, I’m sure, all that’s to come. I’m reminded of Philip Larkin’s Lines on a Young Lady’s Photograph Album, though it’s not a direct connection, not by a long shot — at any rate I wish you all the best!

    • JayeRose

      February 15, 2016 at 11:43 am

      I’m not a huge one for poetry, although I do like Sylvia Plath, but I just googled that Larkin poem and it was beautiful. I loved it. Thank you for that and for your kind words! x

  30. Thanks for this, Jaye. Very interesting and bottom line, if you’re not enjoying something, then you should stop and you have.

    Just about to read post 2 and will look out for future ones.

  31. Very nice post, Jaye. You really have good writing skills (your studies of English Literature must have helped?). I wish you all the best and hope that you can find a job to your liking that really pays off. Good luck!!
    (please remove the previous post I sent, since it was a mistake)

    • JayeRose

      February 15, 2016 at 11:39 am

      Hi – don’t worry, I removed previous post. Thank you so much for taking the time to read & comment – glad you enjoyed! x

  32. Hi, I felt quite sad learning that you retire from adult industry, as I enjoyed your productions so much, but I totally understand and wish you all the best for your new start. I will continue to read your blog as your stuff is pretty funny and interesting. Kiss.

  33. Love the blog! You have a very distinctive voice x

  34. I think this could be a real eye-opener to everyone who gets involved with this industry, not only the performers but the viewers as well. I must say I am loving reading these, it’s an insight into you, something we could have only guessed.

    • JayeRose

      February 17, 2016 at 3:29 pm

      Thank you 🙂 its only as I’ve started writing it and received comments back that I’ve realised that some people have taken it to mean that I have an issue with them watching porn or engaging with my previous work. I genuinely don’t and its something I’m going to address in a future blog as I think its left some people feeling a bit sheepish!

  35. Wow . I love knowing beyond “pornstar”. We men feel attraction first for “beauty” . It’s a wonderful surprise to learn that the woman we love (platonic love? whatever…) is also smart and funny . Good luck !

  36. A great read Ms Rose. I’m looking forward to reading all of your upcoming blogs. Good luck in this next phase of your life.

  37. Wow, after discovering your blog today (Ashamedly late) honestly it’s one of the most refreshing reads I’ve ever discovered. i think you have a lovely character and personality with sooo much to offer. It’s brightened my day immensely gaining insight into your life and thoughts as well as interacting with, lets be honest, truly a more genuine side of you. not just in your blog but in the comments and responses generated i find you humble and engaging. Quite frankly your a diamond that would be wasted on the porn industry. So i too shall be reading with baited breath and my applause at the ready. Venture forth Readhead Warrior. I salute you :*

    • JayeRose

      February 29, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      This made me chuckle and go “n’awwww!” in equal measures. Thank you so much 🙂 really does mean a lot! Will do my best to keep people entertained. X

  38. hi Jaye, great text, I hope to reach all you want, you are inspiration to those who want to start over. congratulations, I will continue to follow … to Brazil Hahahah :))

  39. i find very interesting your opinion! best wishes with your new work(s)

  40. HI ,

    I must admit I am aware of you on the Internet , and must also admit that I think you are a very talented writer . It’s genuinely interesting hearing how your life has changed and you come across as witty and funny so perhaps there’s a new career for you . Your blog made me smile and I’m always impressed by people who take control of their own lives and don’t blame everyone else . You should be proud of yourself 🙂 x

  41. Hey Jaye!

    Last we spoke, you did say you were doing something else (I helped a little with how you’d describe the work you’d done in your CV if you remember) – glad to see you’ve turned your hand at blogging, you’re a great writer and the way you’re writing is engaging. I think I could get you a job in social media if you don’t already have something. I know a few agencies in London and am on good terms with the MD’s so no questions will be asked about “gaps” hope you’re well anyway, keep up the good work, you really are better than the industry treated you.

    • JayeRose

      April 4, 2016 at 5:45 am

      Thank you, that means a lot. Also, massive thank you for the help you gave me too. It had been a loooong time since I’d had to write down on paper what I’ve been doing with my life…!

  42. Properly gutted that I’ve only just discovered this! I have been a fan for a good while and although I have been interested in you in your previous line of work, I find it really refreshing that someone (being my favourite adult actress) is giving her honest account of the world of porn through her eyes and although I’m sad that you’re no longer performing, I’m sure that it will lead to bigger and better things for you as your blog so far seems very cleverly written!
    Very excited to read more!

  43. I simply want to mention I am just all new to weblog and absolutely savored you’re blog site. Probably I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You definitely come with terrific articles. Many thanks for revealing your blog site.

  44. So, you need to write a book, because as candid and intimate as these posts are, they’re also laugh out loud funny. Like, seriously, I was belly laughing at some of you comments about the adult industry, you’ve got such a great dry humour, I would read a whole book of your opinions and reflections. Like a sarcastic biography.

  45. What an interesting read. Getting an insight into the porn industry from your perspective is a good reality check. I do enjoy porn, like most men and as long as we have a dick between our legs, men will continue to enjoy it, because we are men, but…. I understand that if you are working in the porn industry, when your private life is intruded upon, . Like any other profession, there should be some level of protection of privacy.

    So, to keep things real, you gave up a job you hate and are looking for something new.. I did just that when I stopped working for a dairy making cheese. . I had no qualifications, I hated the job but the money was good. I ditched it all to learn about computers and 20 years later, I work as a nerdy network administrator, but hey, I like the job and the pay is ok. There is a lot to be said for job satisfaction, and I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do. Just try not to take the easy route and go back when things get hard work… 🙂

    • JayeRose

      July 4, 2016 at 11:57 am

      Job satisfaction is definitely, definitely key and hopefully I’ll land on my feet…eventually!

      Thank you for your kind words and for reading my blog – means a lot 🙂

  46. Cannot even imagine, a person of your kind having a bleak past can move over with new enthusiasm.

    I have to confess that I followed your instagram because you were a pornstar but now after reading this post you have become an Idol and example for everyone and me.

    Hats off to you Miss Jaye!
    Love You 💜

  47. Good luck and well wishes as you start this new chapter in the story of your life. I applaud your character, I commend you for your spirit and determination. I believe that we are not defined by our past, but simply moulded by it. What defines us is how we face our future and handle our present. To me, you’re not Jaye Rose – ex-pornstar. You’re Jaye Rose – force to be reckoned with. Again, good luck. I’ll be cheering for you from Texas. You’ve got this.

    • JayeRose

      July 20, 2016 at 9:08 pm

      Thank you so much – this comment made my day! Force to be reckoned with indeed 😉 thank you X

  48. Tbh you’re an inspiration for those people who can’t move on or still stuck to their past and also I’m liking the person you’re now. Love you and wish you all the best for your future…
    Keep smiling always 😊

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