What 2016 Taught Me

2016 was a funny one. I made some big decisions, tested myself to my limits, had a bit of a break down, got back up, thought I had a handle of things again and now have no idea what 2017 will bring.

Having been quite vocal about my decision to step out of the adult industry completely at the beginning of this year, things have actually turned out a lot different than I’d anticipated. When I was fully immersed in it all, shooting every day, webcamming every day and drinking myself into a stupor every day, I never had time to catch my breath and appreciate what I was doing. Now, having taken a step back from it all and taken the deep breaths that I needed, I’ve realised that there were aspects of it that I actually did enjoy and, never thought I’d say it, but quite missed!

The mistake I made when I quit is that I didn’t have a plan. I jumped and hit the ground running so I didn’t go into anything better or more fulfilling. In fact, I shot myself in the foot big time. All my debts mounted up because I couldn’t afford all the repayments now that I wasn’t earning the same as I once did. I had to sacrifice times like Christmas day last year that I should have been spending with my family to work a menial job I didn’t even enjoy, to pay the rent. I appreciate that these are situations people face all the time but I’d left behind a world where I didn’t have to do those things. It reminded me why I’d got into it all in the first place.

glamour model

Definitely one of my favourite images that I shot this year.

I did dip my toe back into the adult industry during rougher financial patches this year and was reminded that, although I enjoy filthy fun phonechat, it doesn’t work for me being back doing it for 8 solid hours in a TV studio. I also realised I missed being in front of the camera – not in the modelling sense, although I have created some images I’ve been really pleased with this year, but with video. I missed being sexy and flirty and silly. I like the persona I have when I’m showing off in front of the camera and have decided to go back to shooting fetish content.

In some ways, I felt like I had cut my nose off to spite my face by quitting but I also know that it was good for me to have a break from that world. I’d worked in the adult industry literally my whole adult life and I never switched off. I didn’t have anything that was mentally stimulating me outside of work, no hobbies, no partner, no family, nothing that I could go home and do at the end of the day rather than endlessly checking my social media and seeing how men were talking about all the places they’d ejaculate on me or what a chubby bitch I was getting. The same people will probably still be saying the same things to and about me but this time I feel like I’m more in control. I’m coming back feeling better, stronger and a whole load of other cliché adjectives that exist for a reason.

funny memeActually, ignore everything I’m saying in this blog entry. Just look at this meme and understand that this is me.

I’m excited for 2017 and that’s a nice feeling. When I quit webcamming back in January, I felt such relief that I never thought I’d say that I was excited about being infront of a camera again but I have so many video ideas and going back and doing the shoots I have done this year have made me feel sexy and powerful again. Do I want to keep doing it forever? Not necessarily but for now I’m gonna jump back on it and ride it til the legs fall off. That’s just an euphemism; there will be no more “riding”, soz my hardcore fans. I’m only going to be filming the things I enjoy filming so most will be tease and fetish stuff; a lot tamer than the stuff I use to shoot but equally as sexy!

And do you know what, fuck it, if some people see this as me being a hypocrite, then I’m a hypocrite. I’ve been called worse. Only God, and those with access to the internet can judge me. Maybe it’ll all go tits up again for me and I’ll bow out properly this time but maybe I won’t and maybe you’ll have to deal with my tits for a bit longer.

Here’s to 2017; let’s hope it’s a good one (without any fearrrrrrr – you so know you wanted to sing that bit).

26 Comments

  1. I just want to say thank you. As a female, I love checking your blog/Instagram/Twitter whatever and seeing your posts. I do love the photographs the most, but that’s because I’m weird like that. I love seeing outfits of the day (girl you’ve got great fashion and I love animal print all the same!). You obviously look fantastic naked but I appreciate all photos, clothed or not. So thank you for not only gracing me with your beauty but everyone else as well. I would love to see you start a photo blog or outfit of the day type blog. Those personally are my favorites to check. And most importantly, do you. Fuck what anyone else has to say about how you live your life or make an earning because they don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes. Only you know what’s best for you. People are always allowed to change their minds on how they like to live their life and earn a living. The most important thing I’ve learned in life is to always put myself first. Making money and sustaining yourself is certainly important, but so are the timeless happy moments you get from doing what you love. Just find your balance.

    • JayeRose

      January 8, 2017 at 5:59 pm

      Oh wow – thank you so much! 🙂 that really does mean a lot to me, you’re too kind. Maybe we can rock leopard print yoga pants together sometime X

  2. Hope you have a great 2017 Jaye. Seems totally deserved. Great writing again x

  3. Hey Jaye just wanted to say do what makes you happy and to hell with people that piut you down. Happy new year hope 2017 is great for you 🙂

  4. Happy new year and good luck

  5. Happy New Year, beautiful!
    Keep at the writing, whatever it be about. You’ve got a readable, style due in no small part to its honesty. All the best

  6. Will you still be blogging during it. Because that sounded somewhat final. I love hearing about your insights. Also can you post links to your new stuff somewhere when you make it. A tame Jaye is still a very sexy Jaye. Happy 2017 cutie

    • JayeRose

      January 8, 2017 at 5:56 pm

      Hahah it did sound a bit final, didn’t it! Will definitely be blogging still and hoping to do it with more regularity now! 🙂 x

  7. I would be signed up to your new site but it won’t accept my little irish zip code! Sad to be missing out

  8. Happy New Year. I really hope it’s a good year for you. Show what you want. Fuck the people that judge everyone.

  9. Maybe it would be worth while for you to look at local universities and/or colleges for short courses in film/video production. At least that way the more videos you make (or shoot) can end up in some sort of portfolio.

    – Just a thought.

    • JayeRose

      January 2, 2017 at 1:51 pm

      The actual process of filming/editing doesn’t interest me at all lol its more the being in front of the camera.

  10. Great post as usual Miss Rose, hope you’ve had a great new year and good luck with whatever you choose to do, hope you find happiness in the end

  11. I think fetish modeling is a good path. You don’t even have to be nude when you do it. You’d be in more control of the content, and can do it as often or little as you please. I’m a little jealous of your freedom to be honest.

  12. Some news to set the new year off to a positive start, then, Jaye. Seriously, I think your decision is sound. A bit of Googling shows that images and videos of you are all over the web; drawing a line under adult work isn’t going to make that go away. That genie is out of the bottle. That means your image is still being monetised, and yet the only person involved not making anything from it was you, which makes no sense at all.

    So, good for you; do work that gives you pleasure, allows you control and of course makes you a profit. I look forward to seeing what you have in store for us in 2017.

    • JayeRose

      January 8, 2017 at 5:50 pm

      Yep, you’ve pretty much hit the nail on the head! I’m the only one no longer actually making money off of myself. I couldn’t have worded it better myself!

      Hope its a good 2017 for you too, kind sir 🙂

  13. I’ll be honest, much as I enjoy your writings and your acerbic wit, When it comes to modelling, you’re a one off, no one is quite like you and you’re one of the sexiest glamour models the UK’s got. Pretty (again selfishly) happy, you’re doing it on your own terms, was never quite comfortable with your hardcore stuff because in the main, you looked a bit bored and they rarely did you full justice. There’s been a fair shift in the last year over to direct stuff too, with things like onlyfans (which I see you’re on) and bentbox etc. Cash in your back pocket and no watching pics and vids get used for years and years you’ve already signed away the release for. Best of luck and welcome back!

  14. Interesting change of direction, good luck. I hope you get to where you need to be.

  15. Hiya,
    I’ve seen you appear on adult sites of and on over the years. However, it was my random internet wanderings brought me to this blog today. I really enjoyed reading it. It’s witty, funny and at the same time you come across as thoughtful and articulate (and yes, you are also mind-bendingly hot). Maybe one day you should try your hand at writing.
    Good luck with your new direction in 2017, and finding the right balance between you are comfortable doing. I agree with the above comments – you would be awesome in erotica/glamour.

    • JayeRose

      February 8, 2017 at 7:10 pm

      Aw thank you so much – sometimes wandering leads you to the best places! 😉

      Hope 2017 is a good year for you too.

  16. This was really intriguing to read I’ve never reall understood that sort of world.
    But I’ve always felt like what about your parents? As if I was doing that or I would feel oh I can’t post that my parents would see.
    Overall opened my eyes abit more.
    -Becca

    • JayeRose

      March 6, 2017 at 2:19 pm

      It is a very sore point between myself and my family, I posted about it in previous blogs and how it had affected my mum in particular.

      Thanks for reading! 🙂

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